dreaming of the past

Whenever I couldn't sleep, I daydream or I think about happy memories, and most of the time, I become emotional and I cry. When I start thinking about my childhood, my family/parents, my college life, my high school friends, and aaaall the good times I had, I burst into tears within a minute (that's how quickly I react haha). I want to go back and relive those moments because everything's so different now. Everyone's already grown, matured, and have different lives. I know it's not good to always think about your past but there are just so many good things in the past that I wish I can still have today. It's funny because I cry like a baby then I try not to cry and go back to reality and then cry again. 🤣

What makes me cry the most is when I think about my parents. How I wish they didn't get separated. How I wish we had a "happy family" life. How I wish my parents grew old with us and got to know who or what we were becoming as we're growing. My mom started working abroad when I was 9 years old. She came back to the Philippines for good when I was 19. My dad lived in another place when I was 12 and he still is. I am now 26, turning 27 next week and it just really makes me sad that I didn't get a chance to grow up with parents beside me. I grew up with my aunts/uncles/cousins. Yes, there's emailing/texting/calling but of course, having their presence is still different.

Anyway, I'm just sharing all these to share a part of myself. Yes, I get sad when I think about these things but I can't change anything so I have to go on with my life so don't worry because I'm doing well. It's just good to have a little drama once in a while haha I also just like expressing through writing so here I am. I want to write in my journal but it's easier to type 😄 Thanks for reading and let me know you were here by leaving a comment or anything. 😁